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Impotence, also called erectile dysfunction, can be a crushing ordeal for both men and women. Since prescription medications like Viagra and Cialis aren't right for everyone, here's a helpful list of products that can help raise the sails and bring the ship into the harbor... if you know what we mean. Wink, wink.
1. Viagra Beer
If we know anything about men, it's that they love a good cold brewsky. Why not give them a little extra zing with this limited edition British IPA that's laced with delicious Viagra?
Created in honor of a certain Royal wedding you might have heard about recently, this beer contains, "Viagra, chocolate, Horny Goat Weed and 'a healthy dose of sarcasm'."
It should also be noted that in the UK, one does not need a prescription to purchase Viagra.
Note: One of our attentive readers tells us that according to the fine print on the beer's label, this is not real Viagra at all, but an herbal alternative! False advertising?
Magic Power Coffee, sold exclusively online, contains several ingredients that are said to increase blood flow and help combat erectile dysfunction. However, recently the FDA warned consumers that most of the coffee's claims of increased stamina and improved endurance cannot be substantiated by laboratory studies.
Additionally, the FDA warned that the main ingredients: goji berry, horny goat weed, ginseng, and a non-listed ingredient, hydroxythiohomosildenafil, a chemical cousin of the active ingredient in Viagra, can cause dangerous and decidedly unsexy side effects such as dizziness, dangerously low blood pressure and even death! Not to mention that coffee breath is a huge turn-off....
Reflexology, the practice of increasing blood flow to parts of the body by exerting pressure on designated pressure points, is a natural cure for impotence that produces mixed results by those to attempt it. Pressure points on the ankles correspond to the penis, so in theory, pressing on those spots will encourage an erection. An added benefit of reflexology is increased relaxation, which at the least can help ease the stress of erectile dysfunction.
These plastic tube contraptions use vacuum force to pull blood flow to the sagging member, creating an erection. Once hard, a special elastic band is secured at the base of the penis, enabling the man to have intercourse for up to 30 minutes at a time. Thank you, laws of physics!
The only reported side effects are some mild bruising, less intense orgasms, and the embarrassment of having to bring something so unwieldy into the bedroom.
There has been talk of a Viagra gum hitting the market since Wrigley's secured the patent for it back in 2000, yet it was never made available to the public... until now. In March of 2011, Pfizer Pharmaceuticals released the first version of Viagra-infused gum, but so far, it's only available in Mexico.
The tablets dissolve on your tongue after a few moments of chewing, and it works faster than the traditional tablet method of ingestion and can be helpful to men who have trouble swallowing large capsules.
There are many herbal drugs and supplements available online that claim to mimic the effects of that famous little blue pill, yet none of them have been approved by the FDA. In fact, many of them contain ingredients that are not listed on the label and can be extremely harmful to users.
There are two surgical options for men who need more help than any of the methods above can provide. One surgery involves the insertion of a penile implant, usually an inflatable rod or tube, with a small hand pump implanted in the scrotum. When the time is right, the man simply pumps it up and, well, starts pumping.
The other surgical option is still in the experimental phase and involves vascular surgery aimed at increasing blood flow to the troubled area. Both surgeries can cause nerve damage and scar tissue that can lead to problems in the long run.
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