[Fropki] Laughter is the Best Medicine (25th Aug)

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Cleanse me from my Sins Lord

The Mortician's Big Discovery

 

While examining the the body of Mr. Schwartz, a mortician notices that Schwartz has the largest penis he has ever seen.

 

"I'm sorry, Mr. Schwartz," says the mortician, "But I can't send you to be cremated with a tremendously huge penis like this. It has to be saved for posterity."

 

The mortician removes the penis, places it in a jar and puts the jar in his briefcase. When he gets home, he decides to show it to his wife. "I have something to show you that you won't believe," he says, removing the jar from his briefcase.

 

"Oh my God!" she screams, "Schwartz is dead!"

 

++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Murderous Neighbor

 

A judge asks a defendant to please stand. "You are charged with murdering a garbage man with a chain saw."

 

From the back of the courtroom a man shouts, "You lying bastard!"

 

"Silence in the court!" The judge turns to the defendant again and says, "You are also charged with killing a paperboy with a shovel."

 

"You tightwad!" blurts the spectator.

 

"Quiet!" yelled the judge. "You are also charged with killing a mailman with an electric drill."

 

"You cheap son of a... " the spectator starts to shout.

 

The judge thunders back, " I will hold you in contempt! What is the reason for your outbursts?"

 

"I've lived next to that lying bastard for 10 years now, but do you think he ever had a tool when I needed to borrow one?"

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