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It’s very easy to get. Just keep living and you’ll find yourself getting more and more of it. You can keep it or pass it on, but it’s a good idea to keep a small portion for those nights when you’re feeling so good you forget you’re human. Then drudge it up and float down from the ceiling that is covered with stars that glow in the dark for the sole purpose of being beautiful for you, and as you sink their beauty dims and goes out— I mean it flies out the nearest door or window, its whoosh raising the hair on your forearms. If only your arms were green, you could have two small lawns! But your arms are just there and you are kaput. It’s all your fault, anyway, and it always has been— the kind word you thought of saying but didn’t, the appalling decline of human decency, global warming, thermonuclear nightmares, your own small cowardice, your stupid idea that you would live forever— all tua culpa. John Phillip Sousa invented the sousaphone, which is also your fault. Its notes resound like monstrous ricochets.
But when you wake up your body seems to fit fairly well, like a tailored suit, and you don’t look too bad in the mirror. Hi there, feller! Old feller, young feller, who cares? Whoever it was who felt guilty last night, to hell with him. That was then.
“‘Survivor Guilt’ is not about feeling bad about watching Survivor (the T.V. show). It’s about fickleness (a word we don’t hear much anymore). Plus ça change…but what interests me is the way the poem itself changed as I wrote it.”
—Ron Padgett
Ron Padgett is the author of Collected Poems (Coffee House Press, 2013). His new collection, Alone and Not Alone is forthcoming from Coffee House Press in 2015. He’s a Chancellor of the Academy of American Poets and splits his time between New York City and Vermont.
Launched during National Poetry Month in 2006, Poem-a-Day features new and previously unpublished poems by contemporary poets on weekdays and classic poems on weekends.
Thanks for being a part of the Academy of American Poets community. To learn about other programs, including National Poetry Month, Poem in Your Pocket Day, the annual Poets Forum, and more, visit Poets.org.
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