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1. Pretend to have loosies.
Of all common ailments that you don't need a doctor's certificate for – an upset stomach is right up there, with one major advantage – no one wants to discuss an upset stomach. So tell your professor you have the loosies, disappear to the loo and stream the match on your phone. The greatest thing here is, if you have to pee, you won't even need to get up to go to the loo.
2. Toggle like a boss.
If there's one key which will decide whether or not you watch the match, it is how quickly you can toggle screens between that boring excel sheet and StarSports.com. Warning: Make sure the speakers are on mute though – unless of course you want to explain to him why the staffing email has recorded cheers of 'Virat….Viraaaat'
3. Plug in.
The office and your bay are just too noisy, and you can't get any work done till the time you can drown out the noise with some dubstep. With that done, open a separate window and hear the commentary while multi-tasking between two email stinkers and one missed deadline. Also has an added benefit to drown out a screaming boss or those colleagues who just don't shut up.
4. Put a friend to good use.
You know the one who doesn't drink, is always in the loo when the bill arrives and has to suddenly go out of town each time you ask to borrow his car? Yeah, now is the time he earns his keep. Get him to constantly keep whatsapping the score/developments to you. It'll be a little delayed, but beats seeing the match in highlights!
5. Fake a contagious disease.
When compared to an upset stomach, which in office/work lingo means too lazy to attend or come up with a better excuse, Conjunctivitis is in another league altogether. Just tell your professor you have conjunctivitis and would be happy to attend college. There will be a 15-second pause on the other end of the line and you'll hear 'OK' before he hangs up on you. No professor or boss wants the pressure of starting off an infectious pandemic on their conscience. Stay at home and watch the match.
6. Fake your birthday.
Tell the professor it's your birthday and you want to celebrate by buying the entire class unlimited and copious amounts of Lay's and crates of Pepsi. A man who says no to a birthday celebration hasn't been made yet. Oh, the canteen just so happens to be streaming the match – what a pleasant surprise!
7.Come up with a bullshit but brilliant excuse.
You and Binny went to school together. In KG. You've been the best of friends since then, Binny was hanging with you when he got the call for the Indian Cricket Team and now thinks you are his lucky mascot. You have to watch the match because you don't want to take a risk with his career. Tragically, this will only work for India matches and odds are the professor will ask you to invite Binny to your college annual day.
8.Marry something really low tech with something really high tech.
Find a radio station with running commentary, pair it to microphone patches which are standard issue CIA and used in movies. These patches are virtually undetectable and might only be there in movies – which means you have to hurry – the mic patch would need to be invented as well!
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