[Fropki] Paraprosdokians (Hilarious) (Shared by: Yamini Nair)

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Paraprosdokians

 

'Paraprosdokian' is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to re-frame or re-interpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.

 

- I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

 

- Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

 

- I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

 

- Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

 

- The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

 

- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

 

- If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

 

- We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.

 

- War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

 

- Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

 

- Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

 

- To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

 

- A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

 

- How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

 

- Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

 

- Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

 

- I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.

 

- Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars but check when you say the paint is wet?

 

- Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ?

 

- Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

 

- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

 

- You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

 

- The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

 

- Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

 

- A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

 

- Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

 

- Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

 

- Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

 

- I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

 

- When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

 

- You're never too old to learn something stupid.

 

- To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

 

- Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

 

- Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

 

- A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

 

- If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?

 

- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

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