[Fropki] Laughter is the Best Medicine (Jokes Collection)

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A road construction manager needed to hire someone to paint the yellow lines down the middle of a newly constructed road. A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all get hired. They are each assigned a section of the road. The first day, the blonde paints 2 miles, the redhead 1.5, and the brunette only 1. On the second day, the blonde paints 1 mile, the brunette 2, and the redheaed 2.5. On the third day, the blonde only gets 1/4 of a mile done, the redheaed 3, and the brunette 3.5. The manager decides to talk to the blonde.

 

"You haven't been painting as much road as you did on the first day,'' the manager said. ''What's the problem?''

 

''I'd be painting more, but the bucket keeps getting farther and farther away!'''

 

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An Amish boy and his father were visiting a nearby mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny silver walls that moved apart and back together again by themselves.

 

The lad asked, "What is this, father?"

 

The father, having never seen an elevator, responded, "I have no idea what it is."

 

While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched as small circles lit up above the walls.

 

The walls opened up again and a beautiful twenty-four-year-old woman stepped out.

 

The father looked at his son anxiously and said, "Go get your mother."

 

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Three gay men died, and were cremated. Their lovers happened to be at the funeral home at the same time, and were discussing what they planned to do with the ashes.

 

The first man said, ''My Benny loved to fly, so I'm going up in a plane to scatter his ashes in the sky.''

 

The second man said, ''My Carl was a good fisherman, so I'm going to scatter his ashes in our favorite lake.''

 

The third man said, ''My Jim was such a good lover, I think I'm going to dump his ashes in a pot of chili, so he can tear my ass up just one more time.''

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