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10. Underdo: Homemade Memories
Printing out a picture of the two of you off your home printer and putting it in a picture frame that you had in a drawer at your apartment is absolutely one of the most dangerous gifts you can give her. While the sentimentality is there, the DIY picture frame gift is entirely underwhelming and it will pale in comparison to what she expected and likely even what she got you. If you are going to do the picture frame gift you will have to buy a frame, maybe even have it engraved, and have the picture printed somewhere other than your home.
9. Overdo: The Publicity Play
Any over-the-top public display of affection should be considered carefully. Asking to be put up on the big screen at a game, arranging a shout-out at a concert, calling in to her favorite radio station to tell the world how much you love her, having her serenaded by Spanish guitarists at the restaurant, and the most dignifiedly overdone, the flash mob -- these are all overkill, and while it may seem romantic in concept, embarrassment is a very likely alternative.
8. Underdo: Game Time
Want to ruin everything? Then bring her to a restaurant where they are playing the game. You won't get away with it, no matter how discreet the television is. Checking your phone for the score is also a no-no - on Valentine's Day she has a certain X-ray vision, so don't even bother telling her it's your mother. The sports will have to wait.
7. Overdo: Scavenger Hunt
The night-long scavenger hunt that leads to a slew of cheesy gifts with rose-petal paths leading up to them is much better in theory. Whether it be in your apartment or around the city, putting that much planning into something says way more than you think, or intend to say. It is very sweet, but with each clue you work on, you may be bringing her one step closer to the wrong impression.
6. Underdo: The Sweet Tooth
A box of chocolates from the drugstore is almost worse than no gift. It's a sign of a last-minute present that on your end feels more of an obligation than a pleasure. It might also send the message that you are a bare-minimum-effort kind of guy, or that you think she isn't worth more than the mere bent edges of a no-name cardboard box. It won't impress her, nor will the plastic bag that it comes in.
5. Overdo: The Novel
Thoughtful cards are great, but a five-page handwritten love letter on loose-leaf is unnecessary. Try telling her everything you want to say face-to-face, in a more casual dialogue, rather than in a dramatic soliloquy on paper. It might seem like a good idea, but when she wants to read it in front of you, the embarrassment will kick in and her reaction is almost sure to be less than what you imagined. And, once that letter's in her hands, you can't take it back. Meaning it might be found by snooping eyes (or she might show it to her friends.)
4. Underdo: Going Dutch
Allowing her to split the check with you, no matter how stubborn or insistent she is, is a big no. Whether it's a first date or you're married, she will not forget that you let her pay her way on Valentine's Day, ever. The gift, the company, the good wine and atmosphere would all move to an underwhelming place at the back of her mind if you took any sort of monetary contribution from her. Just don't do it.
3. Overdo: The Grand Gesture
Try to avoid overly grand emotional gestures on Valentine's Day, like telling someone you love them for the first time over candlelight to a romantic soundtrack playing in the background. Or, putting a set of your apartment keys in a jewelry box. It's a bit cliché, risks being very anticlimactic and with the flowers, gift and dinner, it's a bit over-stimulating. Also, there's something impersonal about knowing that across the globe, thousands of other men might be doing the same thing.
2. Underdo: Text
Sending a text, email, or Facebook message will not do. Valentine's Day demands a card. Neglecting to give a card is a big oversight. Just as risky is picking up a card and simply signing your name under the Hallmark greeting or poem, regardless of how well it's worded. Put some effort into writing something sentimental and personal to your relationship. If you don't, you risk her being disappointed and this will set the tone for the rest of the evening.
1. Overdo: The Flower Jungle
Flowers are great and they should almost always be given on Valentine's Day in some capacity, but anything more than a dozen roses is overzealous and looks more like a beauty pageant prize. Adding a box of chocolates, a piece of jewelry, a life-sized teddy bear and a five-course meal is also too much. Try to pick two things and leave it at that. The idea isn't to smother her with gifts, but to give her something meaningful.
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