[Fropki] The 94 Year Old Murderer

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Defense Attorney:
 Will you please state your age?

 

 Old Lady:
 I am 94 years old.

 

 Defense Attorney:
 Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?

 

 Old Lady:
 There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm
 spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch
 and sat down beside me.

 

 Defense Attorney:
 Did you know him?

 

 Old Lady:
 No, but he sure was friendly.

 

 Defense Attorney:
 What happened after he sat down?

 

 Old Lady:
 He started to rub my thigh.

 

 Defense Attorney:
 Did you stop him?

 

 Old Lady:
 No, I didn't stop him.

 

 Defense Attorney:
 Why not?

 

 Little Old Lady:
 It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died
 some 30 years ago.

 

 Defense Attorney:
 What happened next?

 

 Old Lady:
 He began to rub all over of my body.

 

 Defense Attorney:
 Did you stop him then?

 

 Old Lady:
 No, I did not stop him.

 

 Defense Attorney:
 Why not?

 

 Old Lady:
 His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited.
 I haven't felt that good in years!

 

 Defense Attorney:
 What happened next?

 

 Old Lady:
 Well, by then, I was feeling so "spicy" that I just laid down
 and told him 'Take me, young man. Take me now! '

 

 Defense Attorney:
 Did he take you?

 

 Old Lady:
 Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!"

 

 And that's when I shot him, the little bastard.

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