[Fropki] Naughty Dose of Laughter

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A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children.

 

"You all have obsessions," he observed.

 

To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."

 

He turned to the second mom. "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."

 

At this point, the third mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go."

 

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Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"

 

His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's ass and say, 'How about a blowjob?' ....And she's always sound asleep."

 

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3 Men were waiting to go to heaven. St Peter was at the gate and said, "However good you were to your wife that is the vehicle you will get in heaven".

 

The first guy comes up to the gate and says, "I never, ever cheated on my wife and I love her". So St. Peter gives him a Rolls Royce.

 

The next man comes up and says, "I cheated on my wife a little but I stilll love her." He gets a mustang and drives off into heaven.

 

The next guy came up and said, "I cheated on my wife alot". He gets a scooter.

 

Next day the guy that got the scooter was riding along and he saw the guy who owned the Rolls Royce crying.

 

He asked, "Why are you crying you have such a nice car?!" and the man sobbed, "My wife just went by on roller skates".

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