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Introverts don't hate extroverts. Quite the opposite in fact. They're actually fascinated by them because opposites do attract. However, dating an introvert doesn't necessarily mean they will suddenly come out of their shell overnight.
But what happens when you date an introvert? Take a look.
1. Small talk shall and will always stay off the table.
Conversations must be meaningful and deep. Relatable feelings, experiences and stories about your life with a sense of humour are always welcome. Conversations dealing with "how was your day?", "what did you eat for lunch?", "how's work?" will always give introverts split ends.
2. Learn to respect what they call "alone time"
Introverts are not necessarily shy around big groups of people, but there comes a point where they cannot be in constant company all the time. Solitude in a quiet, peaceful place is an opportunity to thrive. It gets their creative juices flowing and provides ample ambiance to unwind.
Constantly pestering them out of alone time, which you might be insensitively calling a "hermit hole", is unacceptable. You're only pushing them away from you.
3. Choose low key venues for your dates
Large crowds and too much activity is often daunting for an introvert. It may energise the extrovert and while he/she is enjoying the progress of the date the introvert is ready to dig an escape route from the washroom.
Forget about the happening bars and clubs that serve the best food and drinks. Keep your dates simple where the focus is on how comfortable your partner is.
4. Phone calls and text messages can be annoying.
Lovey-dovey calls and endless texting is a huge drain on the introvert. So much so that they might just ending up breaking it off with you. Face to face conversation is appreciated more in a comfortable and relaxed environment.
Introverts are very good listeners and offer some of the best advice on things that might be plaguing you. However, do learn to read the signs of when to shut up especially when alone time is around the corner.
5. Cut the crap.
Introverts speak little but they think a lot, analysing every situation as it comes, studying the personality and emotions of every person they come across.
Given the extreme electricity that's running faster than the speed of light in their heads, they can smell your bullshit from more than a mile away.
Be honest and they will be loyal to you. Be an ass**** and expect the door to be slammed shut on your face.
6. They would rather get to know your closest of friends.
Introverts aren't friends with everybody and they have a small circle of close friends, whom they open up to completely. They expect you to have a similar inner circle even if the number of friends on your Facebook account exceeds 5000.
Meeting new people is nice, but meeting your closest friends gives them an opportunity to get to know you better; reminding themselves that having a small friend circle is human whether you label yourself a social animal or not.
7. Learn to take things slow
Introverts love to savour the moment and naturally they don't like rushing through things. A date that involves party hopping and meeting several people can be a brain drain (quite literally!)
When it comes to taking steps in your relationship, give the introvert the privilege of analysing how they feel about you. They might not be on the same page and they may turn down taking that next big step.
8. Do not expect them to be free at the last minute
The average introvert makes plans well in advance, and if they don't, it's going to be home alone doing things they like. Do not expect to call up at 7 pm forcing them to come out for drinks. They are in the middle of something already, but they don't mind if you join them.
9. They do not expect you to become introverted
Introverts love extroverts. In fact, that's what keeps them going sometimes. If you think coming down to their level and cutting off your sociability is the secret to win their affection, you're wrong. Introverts never expect their extroverted partners to stay indoors with them. If they sense their partner is on the fence ready to hit the clubs, they never stop them even if they plan on staying indoors.
10. Don't be judgmental
If you think being introverted is a negative characteristic and express your disappointment and frustration, you are only jeopardising your own relationship. You are hurting someone who is sensitive by stamping on their insecurities, the same way society has done for so long.
11. Expect to be the initiator
Introverts may not always tell you want they want, leaving body language to give you mixed signals. Whether it's making love or taking your leave, learn to read the signs.
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