Steamtown National Historic Site was created in 1986 to preserve the history of steam railroading in America, concentrating on the era 1850 through 1950. We weren’t supposed to, so we did what any band of boys would do & we did it the way they did in books none of us would admit we stole from our brothers & kept hidden under bedskirts in each of our rooms: dropped our bicycles without flipping their kickstands & scaled the fence in silence. At the top, somebody’s overalls snagged, then my Levi’s, & for a few deep breaths, we all sat still—grouse in a line— considering the dark yard before us, how it gestured toward our defiance— of gravity, of curfews, of what we knew of goodness & how we hoped we could be shaped otherwise—& dared us to jump. And then we were among them, stalking their muscled silhouettes as our own herd, becoming ourselves a train of unseen movements made singular, never strangers to the permanent way of traveling through the dark of another’s shadow, indiscernible to the dirt. Our drove of braids & late summer lice buzz cuts pivoted in unison when an engine sighed, throwing the moon into the whites of our eyes & carrying it, still steaming, across the yard to a boilerman, her hair tied up in a blue bandana. Somewhere, our mothers were sleeping prayers for daughters who did not want women to go to the moon, who did not ask for train sets or mitts. But here—with the moon at our feet, & the whistle smearing the cicadas’ electric scream, & the headlamp made of Schwinn chrome, or a cat’s eye marble, or, depending on who you asked, the clean round scar of a cigarette burn on the inside of a wrist so small even my fingers could fasten around it—was a woman refilling the tender in each of us. We watched her the way we’d been told to watch our brothers, our fathers: in quiet reverence, hungry all the while. Copyright © 2016 Meg Day. Used with permission of the author. |
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